Advice

Sexuality

GUEST POST BY Tommy Hibbits 

You’ve experimented with test-tubes and circuits in high school, (or at least that is what following a diagram from a textbook was called), you’ve experimented with your hair, your cooking and your eyebrows. You’ve even gone as far as to experiment with a number of different ridiculous styles throughout your teenage years that has even Wednesday Adam’s shaking her head and screaming ‘fucking smile.’ You’ve done it all. It’s a part of life. We experiment. We see what we like, we see what is right for us and if we don’t like it we don’t do it again. Now it’s time to experiment with a subject that will have a lot of homophobes quaking in their overalls. Your sexuality.

Alejandra Quiroz Alejandra Quiroz

At 15 I thought I was the dog’s bollocks. Invincible, slightly narcissistic and of course, straight. It’s funny that I thought I was 100% straight because I was already stealing my mother’s foundation and putting a layer on fake tan so that I would look ‘more toned’. But being 21 now, and knowing a lot more about myself and my body at that age what I was doing was finding out what was right for me. I had girlfriends. I had sex with girls. That’s right, I penetrated a number of vaginas. I’m not the type of gay that squeals when they talk about or see a vagina because I believe they’re beautiful and well, I came out of one. But this was all experimenting.

The first time I went with a boy was one of my good, still ‘straight’ friends at the time. It didn’t just happen once, or twice, it was as regular as clockwork. I loved it. This was the time I came out as ‘openly sexual’ which I said meant that I would fuck anything with a pulse. People called me greedy, I just called me horny. But this was when I realised that I was different to a lot of people. People actually gave a shit what people thought of them, which I learnt when the sexual relationship (I called it sexual as that was all it was) was exposed all throughout the first year of college. Imagine it. Front cover of the tabloids, ‘Tommy Goes Gay.’ Everyone was talking about it, everyone had an opinion. I couldn’t go anywhere without the paparazzi going crazy. All jokes aside, it was broadcast around. Everybody loves some gossip. It didn’t bother me, but our friendship was tested and unfortunately, he didn’t take it as well as he did in bed with me…*flicks weave*

James Nord James Nord

So that was when I realised. We weren’t at a time where sexuality is openly accepted. It is definitely less extreme than it was 50 years ago, I mean it’s legal to want to be a man that sucks dick now, but as much as much as we want to experiment with our sexuality, a lot of people won’t and will never realise what is right for them. Maybe I’m just talking from being a young, gay man in a small town where the population is me, the gay bar’s barmen and his dog.

Controversial opinion, but I believe everybody has a degree of bisexuality to them. Or we all have a longing to know what it’s like to be with the same sex. Maybe a lot more today than the generation before us, but it shows that the boundaries of sexuality are blurring.

Jacob Walti Jacob Walti

After speaking with a friend, who for reasons would rather me not disclose her name (she cheated on her boyfriend with a female) it gives me even more of a reason to believe everybody has an inkling to try it with both genders. She spoke of a night away in Thailand where she went travelling alone for a month before her boyfriend came out to meet her. One drink leads to another, and a girl she had met there tried it on with her. Literally pinned her to the wall and kissed her. She said she was taken back by it, but what surprised her the most was how turned on she had gotten. The girl then put her tongue into dark, forbidden places, and my friend exclaimed that she was overwhelmed, shocked and ridiculously horny…and that it was the best she had ever had.

So what does that mean? That she’s a lesbian? Her one (and only) night of passion with unidentified female made her realise that she was bisexual?

‘Not exactly. I realised that I wouldn’t ever knock going with a girl again, and before that, I had only ever found women attractive physically, but not sexually, but it definitely opened my eyes to the idea that we are sexual beings that shouldn’t limit ourselves to just having sex with one gender. But then again, everybody is different.’

At one point I would have said to you that my type was ‘straight guys’. It was true. I guess I found the fact that they weren’t supposedly gay a massive turn on. I couldn’t count on both hands the number of guys I have been with that have told me to ‘keep it a secret’ and that its ‘just experimenting’, but when they keep coming back for more…well that’s another story.

I’m extremely versatile and open when it comes to sexuality. Everybody has sex and everybody has urges. It’s part of our nature. It’s built within us. I guess some of us are more ‘free spirited’ in the sense of the word, and I’ve been in conversations where I have shocked people older than me. It’s 2015 now, come on. Live a little.

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