BY Laura Lovejoy
As Lady Gaga and Beyonce once said “Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it’s broke. but you can still see the cracks in that mother f**king reflection”, but where exactly do our trust issues come from and how much do they get in the way of our happiness?
There is no doubt that past experiences have a big impact on the way we trust. If you have ever been cheated on or heartbroken it is easy to put a guard up and not let anyone in but does that really make you happy? I had a boyfriend who was meant to move to London with me, we saved hard and sacrificed to make it happen. A few weeks before we were due to move his best friend told me that he had no money because he got sacked from his job for fraud and for months had been pretending to go to work. By pretending I mean getting up at 7 am, getting in his shirt and trousers and leaving the house to return at about 6 pm. He spent his days sat in his friend’s tattoo shop, waiting until it was a reasonable time to come home and I never suspected a thing. Since then, I have found it hard to trust and it has nearly caused me a few problems when trying to start new relationships. There are other factors that make it difficult for me to trust people but this still has an impact on my relationships today.
Some people say that our trust issues are built into us from a young age. If we have been exposed to lies and deceit then we expect everyone to be the same and in a digital age things just seem to get worse. I read a quote on Facebook a few years back about how relationships seemed to last longer in our parents’ generation and their parents even longer, and it questioned if this is because of the internet? Not even including Tinder and similar apps, Facebook and Instagram alone could be enough to make someone stray. Everything is just handed to you on a plate, girls in barely anything and guys begging for attention, all it takes is a like and a little chat and next thing you know you’re a victim of the brutal world of cheating. It goes beyond worrying when your other half is on a night out to the point where your daily life gets consumed with anxiety about what your partner is doing.
This is where things get difficult. Accusations get thrown around, arguments are the forefront of every conversation and the relationship breaks down and ultimately, it is your fault. It’s your trust issues that got in the way. Not all men cheat and not all women will break your heart, sometimes to be truly happy you have to let your guard down and let someone in and as difficult as it might sound, you have to trust them. When I was lied to, it hurt and it took a long time to get over it, but I did and now I am happier than ever. I still find it hard to trust in certain things and it is healthy to have your wits about you, don’t act like one of those wet lettuces of Jeremey Kyle who blindly trust their boyfriends who have cheated on them 101 times, but the key to being happy in your relationship is to trust the other one. However, if they break that trust, you kick them outta that door faster than you can say lying bastard, someone who knows your worth and respects you will never lie to you.