BY Laura Lovejoy
When you first meet someone it’s a whirlwind of emotions, you don’t know if you’re coming or going. You’re learning all about this new person in your life and at the same time, figuring out a lot about yourself. But after a while, the initial excitement fades and many fall into the trap of losing that spark and turning what you have more into a habit than a relationship.
It’s something that scares me a lot. I have been in a relationship for nearly three years now and whilst we are still learning new things about other and we still have lots of fun, we do fall in little traps where we spend no quality time together and our lives consist of going to work, coming home, eating dinner, watching a Netflix for 30 mins and then going straight to bed. This kind of thing will happen wether you’ve been together two years or ten years and unless you both make the effort, it’s easy for a relationship to fizzle out.
In my opinion, to keep a relationship alive you need to make sure to look after yourself, whether thats shaving your legs, washing your hair or in my case, waxing your lip. Looks aren’t the be all and end all in a relationship but, us earthlings are a shallow bunch and the way we look is the first thing that draws someones attention. It’s easy to gain weight or stop going to the gym when you get in a relationship (take it from someone that knows) but if the way you look is making you unhappy or has knocked your confidence, there’s a high chance it will affect your relationship.
When you first meet someone you do your hair and wear nice clothes but a few years in it’s easy to stop wearing make up or not dressing up because you don’t go ‘out out’ anymore – it’s not just about looking good for him, it’s about looking good for you and making sure the attraction is still there.
You don’t have to just dress up when you’re with your partner. Dress up and go out with the girls. One of the biggest struggles I found with being in a relationship is loosing touch with friends or just not seeing them as much. I moved away from mine and have to really make the effort to go and see them and for a while I didn’t bother. Recently, I have really made the effort and I am out at least one night of the week and it has made such a difference to my relationship because I don’t feel like I am just sat at home waiting for Clint to finish work.
I work full time, Clint works ALL the time and we are hardly ever free at the same time. At the weekend he is at work so I will go out with friends and if he gives himself a week day off, I’m at work. It got to the point where we felt like we never really saw each other. We started making an effort to do something together at least once a week, wether that’s a mid-week trip to the cinema or a nice dinner in Central London at the weekend and it’s made a huge difference. It’s almost like going on those exciting first dates again.
Relationships are hard work and they require a lot of time and effort. It’s easy to see why flames start to fizzle out and while you can try with all your might to reignite your relationship, sometime you have to face the fact that no matter how much you want something to work, it just doesn’t anymore and it’s time to blow it out and move on but that’s not to say you shouldn’t give it a good try first.