By Laura Lovejoy
Being cheated on is horrible. It’s not just the thought of them with someone else but it’s also the embarrassment that comes with it. All the pictures you’ve posted on Instagram of your date nights or the cute things he did for you that you told your friends about, all while the bitch he cheated on you with is sat scrolling through your pictures laughing at how you think he loves you. Cheating is bad, there is no excuse and no two ways about it. Cheating is the ultimate form of lying but is it ever ok to lie to your partner?
I hate liars. I don’t care if it’s a white lie or a massive cover up if I find out you’ve lied you’re not my friend. My ex-boyfriend lied about getting fired from his job and pretended to go to work every day. He would get up at 7, get in his shirt and trousers and then go sit in his friend’s tattoo shop until it was time to come home. This went on for a few months until his best friend eventually told me the truth.
Obviously, we split up, he even said he was going to propose to me to get us to stay together, I went off to uni and we tried to sort something out but it fizzled out. Thank god! While he didn’t cheat on me (that I know of) in my eyes that was the equivalent. He was what many would call a pathological liar.
On the spectrum of lies, that was a pretty big one but I equally have a problem with the smaller lies. I’ve never understood the concept of lying to make people feel better. If I’m wearing an ugly dress, tell me. I probably won’t care and will wear it anyway but I think a true friend, partner or family member should tell you straight. If Clint gets his hair cut and I don’t like it, I will tell him and I would expect him to do the same to me.
These lies are what many class as ‘white lies’, but what about the murky waters which sit between ‘your new dress is nice’ and ‘I lost my job months ago, have no money and have pretended to go to work every day’?
The most frequent kind of lies I hear are ‘I’ll be home in an hour’ or ‘I will help you tidy up in a minute’ which in the grand scheme of things isn’t that bad but still, I would rather know that Clint has no intention of coming home or helping me tidy than lie to me.
Everyone’s relationship is different but in my eyes, if you commit to another person you owe it to them to be 100% honest, not to mention that it makes everyone’s lives a hell of a lot easier. The ‘I have no intention of coming home in an hour’ argument is always going to be calmer than the ‘I lied about to your face about coming home and strolled in at 7 am’ argument.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand why people lie, I totally get it. But I can’t condone any of it. It’s those little lies that turn into big lies and ruin your relationship. If you’re doing something you need to lie about then maybe you shouldn’t do it!