So flipped-turned upside down might be a slight exaggeration but recent events have certainly put a spin on things. I had to choose between what is best for myself and my own happiness or my boyfriend’s happiness. And I chose him.
I’ve always known that Clint has kids but he never had anything to do with them. Naturally, that had a huge impact on his life and is partly to blame for while he sometimes went a little off the rails. I expected they would pop up sometime in his life but I was thought it more likely to be when they are in their teens.
However, one day Clint called me and said that his son’s mum had put through a request for child maintenance and my first reaction was that maybe this is a good time for him to get in touch and work something out so that he could see his son again.
Clint was nervous, he went through a lot of heartbreak of not being able to see him before and was reluctant to want to go through all that again but I believe that every child has right to know their Mum and Dad.
After a few conversations, I agreed to message Clint’s sons Mum. The next morning she messaged and was over the moon that Clint wanted to be a part of his son’s life. I passed her number onto Clint and before you know it they had arranged to meet that weekend.
It was at this point that it hit me in a way that I never thought it would. I felt a wave of emotions and my mind went into overdrive. What role do I play in all of this? What if they decide to get back together? What if the kid doesn’t like me? What if I don’t like him? Am I ready to have a child in my life?
I honestly thought that could be it between Clint and I. I didn’t regret pushing him to see his son, I knew that was morally the right thing to do but I just wasn’t sure that I was ready to be a step mum.
And just a few days later, I had the option of meeting his son and his ex-girlfriend and I wasn’t quite sure if I was ready…