It’s my 23rd birthday today and while I know that I am by no means old, the past 10 years has really flown by and it got me thinking how I have grown as a person and what I have learnt. So, in true Victoria Beckham style, I have written a letter to the 13-year-old me.
Dear 13 year old me,
You’ve always been a little different and right now you feel like you haven’t found your place in the world and like you don’t quite fit in anywhere, you will feel like that for the next 10 years and possibly for the rest of your life. Instead of trying to fit a mould and getting upset because you never will, just be you and don’t ever apologise for that. It’s hard but only then will you start to feel happy.
You have all these hopes and dreams of becoming an actress and even at 23 part of you will still wonder if it could happen but you will take your sensible option and go to university and get a degree in PR. Most of the time you will hate further education but you will plough on because you’re following the path that you think is best for you. You will still channel all that ambition and desire for a better life into everything you do.
Just like at school, you will get bored and crave change all the time but life gets harder as you get older, so enjoy yourself as best you can while you have no responsibilities and know that all those mean things people say about you at school, in 10 years time you won’t have forgotten but you will have moved on and will appreciate how it has made you a stronger person.
And stop thinking that you are fat, you will one day look back at pictures and wish you had the figure you have now.
You will go through a really wild stage in a few years time which includes shaving your head, dying your hair pink, having your ears pieced over and over again, wearing the brightest prints you can find and having an attitude to match. You will grow out of this, although make sure you hold on to that special flair you have, in 10 years time you will feel like you would do anything to get even half of it back.
Bad boyfriends are about to become a habit. In fact, you’re about to meet the worst one in about a years time. He is the biggest waste of space you will ever meet but he is 18 and your 14 so you’re flattered. It won’t last long and don’t even waste your tears on him, what you experience with him is nothing compared to the heartbreak you will experience later on. Many people will never know about this boyfriend as even now you’re too embarrassed to admit you were together.
Your next serious boyfriend will trick you really bad and damage your trust for years to come but again, you will learn from it. The fact you didn’t let him get in the way of moving to London and taking the next steps towards the life you’ve always dreamed off is something you will always be proud of.
At 23, you will live with your boyfriend and he’s 30. That’s quite a surreal feeling. It won’t feel like 5 minutes ago that you were at your mum and dads crying over some schoolboy who dumped you and in the blink of an eye you’re moving in with your boyfriend of a couple of years and talking about getting a mortgage.
In your teens, you will do lots of stupid stuff that will follow you around forever but you will also start learning how to live a life with no regrets and this is a mantra you will continue to live life by. Everything you have done, whether good or bad, you will learn from and it will make you a better person.
Stop counting down the days until you’re an adult, once you get here it’s not as fun as you think and you will spend your days reminding yourself that you are in your early 20’s and shouldn’t stress nowhere near as much as you do. It might seem like you have no one right now, like your family doesn’t get it, you have no friends and everyone is against you but that will change. You will meet some amazing people over the next 10 years that will by your side until you’re at least 23! Good things come to those that wait, eh?
Most importantly, it’s okay to not have everything figured out. You still won’t really have a clue what you’re doing at 23 but to rest of the world it will look like you really have your shit together – and that’s all that matters.
Good luck for the next 10 years, you’re going to need it!