Being Not Ok with Your Body Is Ok

As most girls, if not all of them, I spend a lot of time complaining about my body. My thighs are gigantic, my arms are flabby, I have three chins – the usual. I try to be happy with what I have and embrace it but that normally only lasts a couple of days and I’m back thinking to myself, why did I eat a whole fucking cake?

Sometimes I lay awake at night and I wonder why I spend all this money on make up and all sorts of crazy creams and light emitting storm-trooper masks to make myself look better when if I just cut back on the sugar and did a little more exercise, I would not only look better but feel better?

This isn’t just about looks either, when I eat better and I move more I feel like a totally new human, one that got up at 6 am, hit the gym and ate some avocado on… ok, so I won’t go quite that far but I do have more of a spring in my step and a hell of a lot more energy. Yet, I still choose to eat 3 takeaways in a day (not everyday but it has happened more than I like to admit).

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I used to feel pressure to lose weight because I was the largest of my friendship group or because all the guys fancied Rihanna and see’s got a hot bod. Then there was a wave of bloggers and celebrities who paved the way for a curvier girl (cue Ashley Graham). While this is great and has my full support, I now feel pressure to be comfortable as I am and I’m not.

It’s great to promote being healthy and happy in your own skin but then it’s also ok to admit that your not happy and that you want to do something about it. It doesn’t necessarily make you insecure and you shouldn’t feel bad or weak for wanting to. I sometimes feel conscious about my body, you know the feeling when you catch your self in the mirror and you think why the hell did I wear this, I look like a tent. But, give me a beach or a pool and I will be there strutting around in a bikini like I am Kim K. With myself, confidence isn’t the issue.

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Now I am by no means unhealthily overweight, I am the biggest I have ever been and that’s only a size 14 but no amount of soul searching or learning to love myself is going to make me not want to lose weight. I will accept that I might have cellulite and I might be able to grow a mustache thicker than any mans and I am comfortable with that but I am not comfortable with the size I am now. She says as she shovels Skittles into her mouth *jokes* that was earlier today.

What I am trying to say is that being comfortable as you are is amazing and I do envy people that feel that way but you shouldn’t beat yourself up for wanting to make changes to yourself. I have hired a personal trainer and I am really trying to eat healthy, not because I am insecure as a person but just because I want to make a change.

 

 

6 Comments

  1. Tiffany

    I absolutely love and feel this!

    When I was bigger – size 14, I started running, but for my mental health, not physical and everyone was like omg you don’t need to lose weight etc etc…. but that wasn’t my aim. I was happy with my body. Forward 2 years, I’m now a size 6/8 and very underweight due to illness… yet I’m constantly being told how amazing I look and asking what diet/exercise I’m doing etc… I get more compliments now than ever but I HATE my body. I think it’s a psychological thing of I didn’t choose to lose weight, and because I’m ill though, maybe I’d like it more if I chose to lose weight?

    I very much am not okay with my body and sometimes I feel bad for it, but I shouldn’t, you’re right!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura Lovejoy

      It’s true, we have this thing that it’s ideal to be skinny but it doesn’t matter as long as you’re truly happy. I’m all for girls who are size 16 who love their curves or those who are super petite but embrace it. But whether you’re slim or overweight, if you aren’t happy with the way you look there is a pressure to appear like you are when it actually ok to say no, I want to lose or even put on weight!

      Glad you liked the post. x

      Like

  2. beckyrosecarver

    Okay so first of all, I am in love with you’re blog it is dreamy, Great work!!

    But secondly the content is spot on and and I am all for it, this is another great post and one that get’s me a lot..

    Since leaving secondary school I’ve been very insecure with the way I look and my size, I was bigger then than I am now but my insecurities are probably worse than ever… I’ve always been brushed of and told to stop being silly when it has been a serious issue for me, I am extremely healthy now and I am a perfect weight for my height but I cant physically see it but I know i’m fine? strange eh… I’ve been super skinny in the last few years but put some weight back on for the best… I continue to eat well, enjoy take aways and piggy days and just keep active but it’s more about self love and accepting your flaws!

    We are all beautiful and size doesn’t define us but the determination to want to do something if you’re not happy means the most! (I think you’re wonderful) but if like me no matter how many times someone tells you it just doesn’t mean anything x x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura Lovejoy

      Awww thank you! Glad you like it.

      It’s always good to work on your insecurities and try to accept yourself as you are but like I said in the post, it’s also ok to say I am not happy and I want to make changes.

      I used to spend so much time pretending to my family and friends that I was happy with my body because I was embarrassed to say I want to be healthier and I want to lose a bit of weight. Since accepting that I want to make changes and talking openly about it, I have had far more success at eating right and going to the gym. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. xx

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura Lovejoy

      It’s always going to be a constant battle but you’re right, encouraging others whether that’s on their weight loss journey or or just to be comfortable in their own skin is the most important thing.

      Liked by 1 person

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