Last weekend I went to my Best Friend’s engagement party. Let me just pause there. My Best Friend is engaged, wtf? When did we get old enough for this shit? It was only 5 minutes ago we were calling boys with cars to take us to Tesco to see if we could get served a litre of Vodka (which we would have most likely drank neat), or walking past the house of a guy we liked 20 times in one night in the hope we would bump into him. And yet, there I was sat in a room full of people all there to celebrate her engagement.
The engagement was unexpected, they haven’t even celebrated their first year of knowing each other and yet he popped the question.
I have always lived by the rule that an engagement isn’t a big deal. Nothing really changes, it’s no extra commitment. You carry on as normal just with a rock on your finger. If it doesn’t work out, you just give them the ring back. Hell, I had an ex-boyfriend get a tattoo of me after three weeks of being together and a ring is a little less permanent than that. But seeing someone so close to me get engaged, it made me realise that it is so much more than that.
It is actually quite a big deal. I can quantify exactly why but it just felt like another step towards adult life. It felt like a nail in the coffin of our youth, of walking home from clubs at 7am with road cones on our heads or house sitting for family and eating 20 choc ices (each). It’s a step towards making that commitment that you are going to do what you can in life to make that other person happy. It’s actually committing to marriage, without actually being married yet.
It also made me realise that I am 100% not ready for getting engaged. I want to marry Clint and I know that all going well I probably will one day but I also just want to enjoy just being us. We’ve been together near 3 and a half years now and I’m sure neither of us is ready to take that step but it did get me wondering why my BFF felt it was so right after not even knowing her fiance for a year.
I am a firm believer that you learn to love someone. That’s not to say that you can’t be swept off your feet with infatuation and lust from day one (this is what I think many people get confused with love at first sight). It’s not until you’ve lived together, you’ve experienced things together whether that’s getting promoted, going on holidays or even getting seriously ill, or in our case not having a roof over your head that you really learn to love someone.
In the course of the year, it’s impossible in my eyes to truly and genuinely love someone but every relationship is different. You simply haven’t seen that person in all lights. For that reason, I personally wouldn’t jump into getting engaged that soon.
I expressed that I was a bit concerned that my Best Freind had rushed into things but ultimately, it’s her choice. If she is happy then I am happy. Some people probably think that it’s weird that Clint and I aren’t engaged or that we haven’t have had a baby (most people have them within 5 mins of knowing each other), but what does it matter? We are going to do what feels right for us and if that means getting engaged after a few months or getting engaged 10 years after knowing someone then so be it!