It's Not Me It's You - Breaking up with friends

Is it time to break up with your friends?

I have had so many shitty friends. Friends that I thought were the best thing since sliced bread but were really like mouldy pieces of toast so as I’ve got older, I’ve become extremely particular about who I spend my time with. I don’t have time for fake-ass bitches and despite the difficulties of finding friends as an adult, my life is so much better for it.

The biggest issue with friendships, especially as you get older is that people change and because they are our friends we feel that we have a special loyalty to them. Yet, someone you went to school with may have turned into a bitch and tries to out-do you at every given moment, and maybe with some friends, it feels forced and isn’t fun anymore but because you’ve known each other 10 years you carry on seeing them every other month because you feel guilty to let them down.

To an extent, you can try and work it out but you wouldn’t put up with that behaviour in a relationship so why let friends treat you like it? Besides the obvious, relationships with good friends aren’t that different to romantic relationships (unless you’re friends with benefits of course), which is why if you’re not getting what you think you should out of a friendship, I think it’s perfectly ok to break up.

It's Not Me, It's You - Breaking up with friends

It might sound a bit dramatic to just ‘break up’ with your mate but, in my eyes, it’s the grown-up thing to do. Sitting down and talking about your feelings and why you need to distance yourself is far kinder than one day just stopping answering texts and calls or always making excuses. The most difficult conversations are quite often the most important ones to have.

Life is so full of negativity and if people took more care of how they were feeling rather than worrying about upsetting everyone all the time, the world would be a much happier place. Don’t feel bad about having that awkward conversation with a friend, you might actually end up having a stronger friendship for it and if you do decide to break up for good with a bad friend you will feel much better for it – it’s a win win.

27 Comments

  1. thatfeelinginside

    I’ve had so many friendships that have just ended up feeling forced. Think it can be so awkward sometimes when you’re starting to drift apart because you just have different interests and someone wants to make you feel bad because you’re no longer the same person you were 5 years ago xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura Lovejoy

      It’s so true. We spend so much time trying to force things so we don’t hurt people’s feelings but we need to just focus on what’s best instead! People change, the sooner we can accept that and move on, the better! X

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Diary of a Spanglish Girl

    Haha “Friends that I thought were the best thing since sliced bread but were really like mouldy pieces of toast so as I’ve got older” love that.

    I had a break up with my friend last year and it was the best thing for us. We spent 3 months apart then finally reconciled when I announced I was emigrating. We’re now better than we were before and much kinder to one another. It took a difficult conversation over a cup of coffee and an agreement never to have a third person haha!

    Fab post xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Makeup by Erin

    I recently, within the last two years, realized the friends I had didn’t care about me or our friendship. I had/have practically no friends the last two years. It’s so hard because it can get lonely, but it’s much better than having toxic and negative people in your life! Wonderful post! xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura Lovejoy

      Totally agree! It’s so hard when you feel like you don’t have any friends, I am doing what I can to meet new people but I haven’t got any time for negative people. Glad you liked it! x

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Diana

    I just recently broke up with some friends and that I believe is a good thing. Friendships get outgrown. People change. And sometimes you just don’t click as you used to.
    Lovely post, Laura!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. danielletweedles

    Enjoyed reading this. I too have recently broke up with some people who I thought were friends but it was a one way relationship. I would always make the effort to make plans to see them but would never get it in return, and the plans would 99% of the time always be cancelled. Sometimes quality over quantity is truly the best way to be. x

    Liked by 1 person

  6. ruthinrevolt

    I think a lot of people don’t realise that it’s okay to do this. I always try and think of all relationships on similar lines to romantic ones. I will ask myself “would I put up with this behaviour from a partner?” If the answer is no, I’ll either ask them about it or accept we’re not in a place to be friends anymore.

    Great post, Laura!

    Ruth | http://www.ruthinrevolt.com

    Like

  7. anythingonline1

    I totally agree with you! I spent so much time worrying about not ruining friendships that were already ruined, not because something really bad happened, but because people change and the person that you had everything in common with when you were younger, is not the same anymore. People change and we fall apart but that’s okay.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura Lovejoy

      It’s just hard sometimes if the other person doesn’t feel the same and it ends badly but at the end of the day you have to do what’s best!

      Like

  8. Chroniclesofatwistedbrain

    I too recently broke up with my best friend of 6 years. I hesitated at first because we used to go on trips together but then again some things happened and she betrayed my trust. I had two options: either to keep this friendship and lose my dignity or to walk away with my self respect intact. I chose the latter one of course. I couldn’t imagine letting down myself just for the sake of a friendship which was already past its expiry date. Little did I know I would soon be replaced by someone whom she didn’t even like. Nevertheless it isn’t my loss because I know she is the one who has lost someone who has been with her through all the adversities of life she had to face and vice versa. But I think I’m strong now knowing that I am my own best friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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