I am an out and out, self-confessed, paper chaser. Ask me at 2 years old what I wanted to be when I grew up, chances are I would have replied rich. Yet, I sit at my desk day in day out while my friends travel the world making costumes on cruise ships or dancing in circuses and while I have a good job and I am happy, I still feel like I am missing out on something.
My job pays well, it’s not the highest paid profession in the world but I enjoy it. It’s never going to make me rich so Clint and I have our side hustles but I always wonder if I should give up the rat race and move to a little village somewhere hot and work in a local cafe while Clint does the odd handyman job. It’s a fleeting thought but one that comes along quite often.
It also doesn’t help that I’ve just got back from Rhodes in Greece where I was visiting a friend who is living out there for 7 months dancing in hotels. That’s not exotic dancing to be clear! She spends her days by the pool chilling before heading to work for a couple of hours in the evening and I can’t lie, I’m fairly envious.
It is hard work for her and money can sometimes be really tight but she is really happy and loving life. When I am stuck on a train for 1 hour and 20 minutes every day (providing there aren’t delays) with 50 mins of walking added to that just to get to work, it’s easy to see why the life she is living is so appealing.
Anyone that knows me knows that I like my luxuries and strive to be the best at everything I do but am I just putting too much pressure on myself? I look at my friends who just want to pursue their passion, regardless of the money or without worrying whether they will have a mortgage in the next 5 years and I wish I could have the same attitude.
I’m just wired to plan for the future and make sure that everything is in order, I have always believed that the more work I put in now, the better my life will be in the future but I think one of the biggest struggles in life is balancing short-term gain vs long-term happiness. I’m happy to accept that I think this way but sometimes I just need to chill the fuck out and remember that I am only 23 years old. At this age, life is all about making mistakes and taking chances, after all, it’s the chances you didn’t take you regret the most.