Can a break help a relationship?

Is time apart healthy for your relationship? I’m not talking nights out and holidays without each other, I’m talking actual time apart, not seeing each other, not texting, no contact. Some might even go as far as to call it a break.

A good few months back, Clint and I had some time apart because we started to argue a lot and I just felt like I needed some time on my own to just do me. It wasn’t planned, and it was hard but we needed it.

As any ‘Friends’ fan will know, a break can be hard to define. In my opinion, if you want to have a break to go out and sleep with other people, then you’re probably not meant to be. However, a break from contacting each other doesn’t mean that it has to be the end of your relationship.

Sure, sometimes cracks might begin to show. But spending every living minute with your partner because you’re worried how your relationship might fall apart if you don’t isn’t healthy.

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Having a break doesn’t have to come from a bad place either. Just agreeing to spend some time apart with no contact so that you can 1) both miss each other and 2) just do you, is so much better for your relationship than getting sick and tired of the sight of each other. No matter how much you like or love someone, seeing them all the time will naturally drive you up the wall.

When we had time apart, it made me realise how much I miss Clint and how happy I am and the next time we saw each other felt like a first date. It was exciting in a way that you don’t normally experience when you’ve been together for nearly four years.

Things are great between Clint and me at the moment. Sure, we have our little fallings out here and there but that time apart made us both realise what we have. Even if our relationship was the best it has ever been and we were another four years into our relationship, I would still think about having a few days apart without contact.

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A couple that is not only comfortable enough to do that but one that trusts each other enough to do that is in my eyes are pretty bloody strong.

Don’t be afraid about taking a little time for yourself, be honest and clear about your feelings and understand that a break doesn’t mean cheating, it doesn’t mean the end of a relationship, it just means taking some time to work on you. No matter how good something is, we all need a break from it from time to time.

Did having time apart fix the things that were bad in our relationship? Not at all. But, it made us realise it was worth fixing.

 

22 Comments

  1. Diana

    Loved this! I do think that taking a short break can be beneficial, but that is only if you both are okay with it, and only if you don’t have major things tgat need to be changes (e.g. if you dont let fit like characters, you will never get over that). But having a break is great if you just feel like your relationship has stuck in a routine and can’t get over it and things like that!

    http://www.thedecemberdame.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Laura Lovejoy

      Totally agree that both of you have be on the same page, or you have to at least understand where the other person is coming from. Glad you liked it!

      Like

  2. Lucy Rachael

    Me and my boyfriend basically are forced to have a break each summer as I go home to Shetland which is not an easy place to visit. We do text eachother and phone but it makes us value eachother so much more and when we see eachother again it’s like the first time all over again. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sharon Padon

    I totally agree that you have a pretty strong relationship to be abke to tell each other you need a break. So sweet you guys have such a open strong bond to commicate that well!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Makeup by Erin

    My boyfriend and I had a summer apart and honestly that’s was all we ever needed! I think breaks are definitely a personal choice and really depend on the couple and the relationship. We personally would never take another one, but that’s just us! Lovely post! xx

    Like

  5. InspireYourMarriage

    You’re so right! Give some space and time apart is one of my 5 Stimulation Needs in a relationship. An added benefit is that it’s an ego boost when they give you room to flirt at your pace and they respond back positively. If they never give space and are constantly flirting/pursuing you, it doesn’t give you a chance to pursue them at your own pace and to feel good when they notice your flirtation and flirt back.

    Like

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