Being controlling in a relationship

It's Not Me, It's You - dating and relationship blog Controlling in relationship

Not letting your partner have any freedom and dictating all their decisions to suit yourself is controlling. Telling them what they can and can’t wear and who they are allowed to hang around with is also controlling but, let me get something straight, wanting your partner to treat you with respect is not controlling.

Time and time again, people who know nothing about my relationship have bitched about me being controlling. They say that because I get annoyed sometimes when Clint goes out or when he bails on plans he’s made with me, that I am trying to control him.

These are people, friends and family, that have known my boyfriend for a very long time, some for his whole life in fact and anyone that knows Clint knows that he does what he wants when he wants. In fact, he’s probably the least likely person to be controlled or made to do something that he doesn’t want to do that they know.

It's Not Me, It's You - dating and relationship blog Controlling in relationship

It doesn’t help that I am a strong character who isn’t pushed about lightly, so automatically I am deemed as bossy and demanding as opposed to someone who wants the best for my relationship. Not sure, if the same would be said about him if the roles reversed but to be honest, I have had enough of it!

Just because I know my worth enough to know how I should be treated, that doesn’t make me controlling. I have every right to be annoyed at my boyfriend for going out three times a week or making zero effort with me, or for promising he would do something and then not doing it. Again, that’s not being controlling that is being a normal human being.

The moral of this story is that I need to stop caring what other people think. We have a great relationship that has faced more hurdles that one 20 years its senior but like most, we have our problems. I just wish people would keep out of it and only comment on stuff they know to be true rather than chatting shit about stuff they don’t know anything about.




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  1. September 6, 2018 / 6:07 pm

    I think your final paragraph really sums it all up for me. People are far too quick to judge when it comes to relationships, when in reality nobody from the outside can ever truly understand what it’s like to be part of the relationship. More to the point, they probably shouldn’t. Interesting post!

    Megan //

    • September 10, 2018 / 11:20 am

      Totally agree! It’s just hard when people have so much to say, especially when it’s close family and friends!

  2. September 16, 2018 / 11:10 am

    Like pixieskies said, the first paragraph literally sums it all up! If by your partner hanging around with someone is disrespecting you in some way then asking for the respect politely isnt really controlling but i guess everyone has different opinions/views on it x

    • September 16, 2018 / 11:39 am

      That’s the the hardest thing about relationships. Compromise! X

  3. Kim
    September 18, 2018 / 5:38 pm

    Great post. Other people are very quick to judge without knowing the full story – even strangers. I don’t think wanting respect from your partner is controlling, far from it. Every partner should respect their partner.

    • September 19, 2018 / 8:30 am

      Totally agree! Thanks for commenting 😊

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