Maintaining a relationship when working long hours

Maintaining a relationship during long hours

Maintaining a relationship when working long hours is really tough. My job is pretty demanding, plus I blog and do eyelashes on the side and Clint runs his own business. Sometimes it feels like we barely see each other and when we do, one of us normally has something else going on. I’ve lost count of the number of times we’ve sat in front of the telly both on our laptops barely saying a word to each other.

The trouble is, It’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking that just because you’re physically sat next to each other that you are spending time together but spending quality time with each other means no distractions and certainly no work.

We’ve tried to do it so that we agree to spend one day/evening a week doing something special together but it never works out. The reality is that when you’re trying to make something of yourself, you do have to put the hours in and sometimes that is at the sacrifice of the people around you.

While you’re perfectly within your right to raise it as an issue if you don’t think your partner is making enough time for you, you also have to be reasonable. The chances are they don’t want to spend every awake hour working but if it means helping you both get the life you want then everyone has to make sacrifices.

Working long hours in relationship

This is why it’s super important to talk about how you’re feeling. Even though I am busy myself, I quite often feel a bit neglected by Clint. He leaves the house at 6:30am and sometimes doesn’t come home until 9:30pm or even later. When he does come home he’s on the phone preparing things for the next day and I find it hard. But, we communicate openly about it so we can both understand where each other is coming from.

He understands that we don’t always see each other very often and he hates it as much as I do. He gets why I’m frustrated that he’s ALWAYS on the phone but, I also understand that he is running a business and as much as he would love to switch off, he has responsibilities.

The key to maintaining a relationship when working long hours is also learning to compromise. If Clint has worked 8 days in a row and barely seen me, he will then switch his phone off for a Sunday and spend the day with me. We’ll go out and do something fun or even just stay indoors and do some housework together. My compromise is being flexible with plans and not ALWAYS getting annoyed when he’s working.

We do our best to make time for each other but sometimes it seems like whenever he is free, I am busy and vice versa. But, just because he has to work late unexpectedly and plans have had to change last minute doesn’t mean that my life has to go on hold.

I make the most of having that extra time to myself, whether that’s by working on my blog, reading or even just having a little me time. It’s not always nice when you feel like you don’t get to see someone you love very often, even though you live together but as long as you’re making an effort to enjoy quality time together when you do and you’re understanding of the other person’s position, it becomes far easier to manage.

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4 Comments

  1. April 7, 2019 / 8:40 pm

    Me and my ex (who were together for 3 years) met through college and obviously that came with seeing him every single day as well as 1 day of the weekend, it was nice in the sense that i didnt have to worry about when i was seeing him next because it’d most likely be the next day at college or on the weekend, when i quit college and got a job and he was still at college 3 days a week he couldnt understand why it was so hard to meet up… i adjusted to my new life of having an actual job and not being in education and he still was so when i couldnt meet up because i was working or just too drained he’d get really annoyed & angry which made me annoyed & angry that he just couldnt understand it. we’d gone from seeing each other like pretty much 5/7 days a week to 2 days if lucky. in the end the relationship broke down, not nesscarily because of the fact we didnt see each other much but i think thats where the communication really needs to come in. i dont think you need to see your partner every single day, its healthy to have days alone but you also need to understand from both points of views and work around your work/social life balance! lovely post x

    • itsnotmeitsyou12
      Author
      April 8, 2019 / 7:44 am

      I totally agree! It’s also very difficult when your lives are in totally different places but like you said, it’s all about communication! Thanks for the comment!

  2. August 5, 2019 / 7:22 am

    I loved this post! I’m a lot like Clint, I think. I’ve always been a workaholic and I admit that it’s a huge fault of mine. For instance, I love travelling with K but I can’t help but bring my work stuff with me even when I’m out and about. 😦 Still, I try my best to give him as much time as possible. Outside of work, I spend all my time with him, making sure to bond with him and make him not feel neglected. He also does his best to make me feel relaxed when I’m not running off to finish my deadlines! Haha, all it takes is for both parties to compromise, really.

    • itsnotmeitsyou12
      Author
      August 18, 2019 / 7:47 pm

      Exactly! It’s so hard to see it from the other person’s point of view sometimes though. Glad you seem to be finding a way around it though!

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