You may have read my post from a while back about meeting the mother of my boyfriend’s child. It was a strange situation, considering we had been together for three years before I met his kid but everything was working out well. All the fears and concerns I had were unnecessary and we’d worked it out in a way that worked for everyone – or so we thought. Never in a million years did I expect for me to have a falling out with the mother of my partner’s child.
Out of the blue, his baby mama decided she didn’t want me to have anything to with the child anymore and made some very nasty comments about me. It was such a surprise because we actually got on quite well. We don’t know for sure but Clint believes that someone may have been in her ear shit talking me. It’s not ideal but if that’s what she wants to believe then it’s up to her.
Clint didn’t see his little boy very often and had missed out on a lot. I’m not going to sugar coat it, that was partly his fault but I didn’t think it was fair for me to go along every time they saw each other and she took that as if I didn’t want to be a part of his life. I think she felt like I didn’t care but the truth was that I cared a hell of a lot and was just trying to do what’s best for everyone.
All I can say about the matter is however easy you think things might be when dating or being in a relationship with someone that has a child, it always has the potential to get complicated very quickly and unexpectedly. The best thing you can do is take a step back and let them carry on doing what’s best for the child. That takes guts though and you have to be prepared for a whole load of shit.
I did try to patch things up after falling out with the mother of my partner’s child but she wasn’t interested. I dare say that if it was my child and someone was telling me the same things I may have reacted in the same way. But, It’s sad because I had built a connection with their son and It’s hard that Clint has this whole other part of his life that I have nothing to do with. Ultimately, however, it’s not my choice to make. It’s their child and I have no right to meddle.
I could have easily retaliated to the things that were said but what would that achieve? I still do my bit from the sidelines, I’ve lent Clint my car before because she had an issue with her other child and needed Clint to pick up his son. Meaning that I had to spend an hour busing to the gym for a personal training session I couldn’t reschedule. I’ve paid for his Son’s Christmas presents when Clint didn’t have any money. I’ve even picked out her Christmas presents based on things I think she might like.
Honestly, I think learning to deal with this situation has been the most selfless thing I have ever done. I don’t want to make things difficult for Clint to see his son and I want to do everything I can to keep the peace between him and his son’s Mum so they can do what’s best for their child. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hard when someone has an opinion of you that isn’t based on the truth but all I can do is hope that things sort themselves out for the better later down the line.