Should you be upset if your boyfriend watches porn?

Should-I-be-upset-that-boyfriend-watches-porn.

I hear so many stories about women getting pissed off because their boyfriends watch porn. And let’s face it, most comedians at some point have alluded to it in a sketch but should you be upset if your boyfriend watches porn? The short answer is no. Also, groundbreaking fact – women watch porn too. In fact, a study from 2015 found that one in three women watch porn at least once a week. I wouldn’t be surprised if that figure is much higher today, considering that we are more comfortable talking about sex than ever.

But, just because you watch porn it doesn’t mean that you fancy someone else, you want to cheat or secretly have some bondage fetish. We all have needs and sorry but sometimes those needs are better sorted out by ourselves (if you want a job done properly, do it yourself and all). It is perfectly healthy to watch porn when in a relationship, in fact, I think it can lead to a more open and positive sex life if treated in the right way.

Porn allows people to explore sexual desires that they would possibly never dream or even feel comfortable talking about in real life, it helps with sexual satisfaction which can lead to better mood and a happier relationship and it can help you spice things up in real life.

The problem with porn

The problem with porn is that it creates unrealistic expectations of sex, especially amongst men. I mean, some of the shit I have seen in porn, no woman enjoys. Yet, men think it’s ok. And to be honest, we can’t begrudge them for it. In many cases, that is the only ‘education’ they get in terms of technique.

Is it ok to watch porn in relationships

While everyone has their own little fetishes and granted, some are a bit more out there than others, what women ACTUALLY want is barely ever reflected in porn. In real life, female pleasure can often be more difficult to crack than the Da Vinci code yet porn makes it look easy. Whatsmore is that we are more than happy to talk about men having a wank but it’s still a taboo for women. It’s just another item in the long list of how genders are treated unfairly.

Porn as a movement for good

Porn could be used as a movement for good by celebrating the art of sex and promoting a more positive message around exploring sexual desires and making sure that both men AND women get exactly what they want. I feel like this is slowly happening but we still have a long way to go. It’s on everyone from those who watch porn to those who produce and star in it to make changes.

I know there are women friendly sections but what about championing our needs a little more? The impact that would have on society and the way we view and talk about sex would be profound.

Ultimately, porn isn’t bad and we should stop giving people a hard time for watching porn. And you certainly should not be upset if your boyfriend watches porn. Instead, we need to think of ways to promote a healthy and open sex life where people (especially women) can be open about their needs and not always have to feel like they are in some 80s porno.

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1 Comment

  1. Tamara
    August 14, 2019 / 10:29 pm

    Reading this made me feel so much better. I’m one of those who get upset but I am getting over it slowly low self esteem and all that ☺️.

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